honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
