Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
