Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i came on her dog
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
