I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
