I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
