I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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