we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize