I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
