I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found a bag of teeth...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
