where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
