Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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