i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
