My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This baby is an asshole
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
