he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
