I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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