My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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