how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
