It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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