Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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