There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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