Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
