He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
