i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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