I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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