That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize