end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
