I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
