Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
