Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
