I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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