You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
