He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's official drugs can't kill me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
