i don't plan on having that self control this summer
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
