It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
