It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
