I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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