I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
