Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
