this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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