Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize