i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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