Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
