who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
