When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
