I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
