But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
