They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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