Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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