Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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