It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
