my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
