I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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