i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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