just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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