nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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