you didnt know i had herpes?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
