dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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