is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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