grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
