I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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