I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
