So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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