but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize