i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're like the curious george of whores
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
